The world needs to know...

You may be thinking from the title of this post and the fact that I’m currently in Korea, I may have come by some insider information on North/South relations… This is not true.

Today I’m posting about Chicken and Beer.

Here in South Korea there is an amazing type of restaurant where the menu consists of only two things: Chicken and Beer.
It couldn’t be easier, simply walk in and take a seat and answer “Yes and yes” to the following two questions “chicken? Beer?” and your on your way!

Minimum décor, deep fried manliness and tall frosty ones rouse the inner beast. The mouth waters, primal grunts echo as you wash back the amber liquid in preparation for the sweet chickeny feast.
The waitress lays out your tools of war – Fork, chicken salt, hot sauce. In addition to these essentials she puts out a strange pickled side dish. When on its own the cured white vegetable tastes somewhat displeasing. However, when eaten with a mouthful of chicken, a sweet love song is played out in your mouth. Waves of joy and rainbow colours, salty musical notes caress your soul as your mind falls onto an inter-stellar chicken drumstick rocket ship.

Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock.

Your vision snaps back to reality at the sound of a loud ticking clock on the wall. You’ve been fantasizing and the meal hasn’t even arrived yet. Adjusting your shirt, you look around at the other patrons hoping they didn’t catch you mid meat fantasy.
Across the table your strictly vegetarian girlfriend looks hungry and impatient. She is wondering why she is even in the restaurant and wants out immediately. A quick flash of cash solves the problem as she promptly heads for the door in search of less meaty options.

The waitress rounds the corner, and here it comes. An extra large plate of deep fried chicken and your all alone; life is sweet. The large mound of chicken glistens in the fluorescent light of the restaurant as the gorging begins.
As with any fried feast you start off excited and hungry, however things quickly turn grim as you hastily stuff you face. Chicken, beer, side dish – Beer, side dish, chicken.

Burp!

You adjust your pants to make more room. Your excitement has now shriveled into lament. Mouthful after mouthful, your breathing has slowed. Too much greasy chicken as another sickly burp farts out your mouth.
Three more pieces chuckle at you from the plate. Your eyes squint as you stare at the chicken with hatred. “I HATE YOU!!!!”
Your fingers flitter around the plate as you push the meat back and forth, contemplating the inevitable consumption of said chicken. “I HATE YOU!!!!”

Your eyes are low, the deed is done, and the plate is empty…

Apparently you just consumed near to a whole chicken and you can feel it squawking in your stomach. Slumped in your seat, you hate what just happened. Somehow mustering up enough energy to pay the bill, you waddle lamely out of the restaurant.

Full as you are, reflecting back, the man deep inside simply can’t wait for the next greasy, life affirming visit to an all Korean chicken and beer fiesta.